Special Episode

There are the episodes. Talk show TV drama at its peak would consist of two females arguing over one deadbeat boyfriend. Or the classic, four guys dodging the results from the test “Who’s the baby’s daddy”. The kids know Jerry Springer. Yet more than decade ago, old Richard Bay started it all.
I remember it well. After TV stopped turning itself off I’d stay up until 2 in the morning to watch people break out into fistfights. Guests on RB’s show would confess some wild story to their friend and they’d beat each other down until they drew blood. Like they didn’t know the focus of that show when they signed up to appear on it. They’d cuss each other out and look like uneducated hooligans. I really didn’t see why someone would air out their personal business on national television. The entire show accomplished nothing but deteriorate people’s self worth. What goes on in the house should stay in the house. Which is why all the while, I know well that Susan and ‘em better not, ever, ever, ever bring me on a show talking about ‘we need counseling’. Or worse, to confront me about something “Shocking!” I know what the show is about. They’re not going to bring me on there to seek help. Somebody always gets embarrassed during the thick of things.
For my show I’d act right. I’d be civil. Pepper my sentences with yes and no ma’am or sir. Pull out all the guests’ chairs to make them feel comfortable. Offer my bottle of water to break the thirst of whomsoever testifying on me in front of millions. Nod my head in understanding. Grin softly every so often. Even wear nice clothes and smell like the Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue. My episode probably wouldn’t even provide for good teaser clips in commercials. No fight, no arguing, nothing.
Those people on RB’s show had a right to be upset. Its just that my aunt used to tell me, there’s a time for everything. And she’s right. So when the camera stops rolling there may be an audience stampede, folk trampled losing shoes and bags, chairs flying and then they can just lock me up, after the show. :o)