Monday, May 29, 2006

Letter of a 6-year-old



Are you sleeping? I had 2 ask! The thing is, my tiny sister and me used to share a room and in the dark, breaking the stale silence she used to always ask me if I was sleeping.
First, I'd say yes, (I quickly lied, she knew), then she'd go into making a full-blown conversation, and I was forced to participate.
She's bossy like that, and poor ol' shy n quiet me had to be under her rule.
I'm glad I'm outta that situation! I took a lot of abuse from her, had to get in the bath water after her ‘cause, momma said she was smaller, (don't act like u ain't have to 'save' bathwater).
Seriously now, I think, LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!
I look at Susan now like, damn momma were we THAT poor where I couldn't get no fresh hot bath water. With Mr. Bubble! I wasn't stepping into nothing but shallow grim anyway! By her being smaller and closer to the ground, she’s more polluted. Did I really have to get HER hand-me-downs and my brothers, dammit.
And I want more than four cookies. I want the whole bag!
Can I get NEW shoes more than ONCE a year!
Also, just 'cause Ms. Bea said I gave the finger while riding the school bus and put me in the corner for two hours, on my fragile knees doesn't mean I'm a troubled child. I was waving goodbye to my friends and smiling, who does that? I can’t help that I was born with a slightly crooked little finger. Hell, when I think about it that ol lady saw me from her kitchen window I was at the swing, that's damn near 50 yards away, the bifocal wearing hen used to drink too, and your going to believe her over me. One day, I’ll win! ‘Till then, I’m not a troubled child!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Riding Around

Once again, I saw it. Classic picture.
I stopped at a red light next to a jalopy filled with kids in the backseat and at least three grown folks in the front. From looking outside of my tinted windows, everybody in the car looked agitated. I slowly sat back into my plush seats. The sight all too instantly brought me back to something.

I was back, sitting in that rear seat pilled up with my cousins. I was lanky, tall and a little older pre-teen so they always stuck me in the middle, on the hard hump.
If I were lucky I’d get the window seat and watch the scenery instead of the back of someone’s head.
Just my luck. Sigh. I’m wedged.
I wished I could have my own car and money. I would certainly get to the mall quicker and cooler. I wouldn’t be uncomfortable and get say on what’s on the radio.
Just something, because I grew tired of hearing they’re complaints and being picked on.
“It’s hot.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Sue, it’s too hot in here,” they’d repeat to my mom.
“When are you going to get the air-condition’ fixed?”
“Are we going to get something to eat?”
“Look at the dollar 2-piece special at Churches.”
“Awe man, there goes another red light, we’re going to be full of sweat”.
I threw my head back waiting on someone to save me, or at least finally come and tell me I’m adopted and I’ll be out of the situation!
“It’s just too hot up in here,” they echoed.
“Ohhhh, look at those people in that BMW, girl you know they riding clean. I bet they ain’t got no problems,” yelled, my older cousin with a drivers’ license.
“She prolly go home to the gated fence and tell the butler what she wants to eat,” she added.
“I wish I was in there,” my brother said.
“Ohh, that’s my car,” my little cousins calling shots on the cars.

It wasn’t nice sitting in the back of the old Buick on hot summer days just trying to make it to the mall to window shop. After days of sitting at home looking at each other, a trip outside, even if it meant to be canned like pickles it was worth it, sometimes.
On and on they would rag, as if we could do anything right then and there.

I didn’t complain because I already knew the situation I was going into. I felt like it would be a waste of my time and breath. I knew the Buick had no air. I knew it was going to be hot every day. I knew we would sweat and lose some of our fresh fully clean smell. I knew we were going to have to pile together to make the trip. I know I had only five dollars and a happy meal was $2.99. I knew we would look poor and meager to other people with nicer things. It’s not like we hadn’t made this trip before! I just wanted to get to the mall to see the fresh stuff coming out! We do this nearly every week. But, if I had to take another trip with them like this again, forget it, I’ll just stay at the house with the cat. Man! I surely wish for better days to come.
GREEN LIGHT! ALREADY!!!

I smiled compassionately. Who said it wasn’t cool to grow up? Time for me to go, I know what it’s like. I’m glad I envisioned something. Without any hesitation I zoomed off.