You’re probably going to think I’m wrong, or just flat out heartless.
Especially since the weather is cold.
But it’s a game that I’m sick of.
Every morning, it’s the same thing, for three weeks now.
I can hear her rapid heartbeat. Boom. Boom.
6:45 a.m., she times me perfectly. Waiting at my door, tiny paws outstretched. Claws in attack mode. She smiles. She smells my fear.
It’s a cat and mouse game and I’m the mouse.
It’s also five steps to my bathroom, a safe haven for me to wash my face and head to work. I can make it, she’s not that baaaAAAADDDDD!!!!!!!!
I didn’t even have a head start before her razor blade claws bear down on my ankle through soft skin. Oh Sweet Jesus. Prince of Peace. Ohhhh, that’s warm blood trickle down to my toes. My Dear Father. Bless the Kitten! Oh how I Love Thee. Smile. I just don’t care what my little sister thinks, but too the pound
…..HOPE GOTTA GO!
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Not Another Minute
“Relay Service, CA 1170, what’s the area code and number to dial please?
5…0…2…6…7…5…9….”
I can say those scripted lines with my eyes closed gracefully like an Academy Award winning actress.
My practice. I invest time in “Flop Ears”, “Thomas the Engine”, and “Lemony Snicket” with a little boy.
I can construct the world’s best influential speech…And put it into Flavor Flav hands and make him sound great.
……needs strong people skills. Got It! Looking for energetic people. Got It!
Humm…. a rest… Beep. Beep. Ha!
“Relay Service, CA 1170……. “Yes Sir, I’ll have that number for you.”
I can type 76 words per minute/no errors. My sound byte is better.
Beep. Beep. Well, its paying bills.
I can tell you about every stock and bond available to you like a renowned broker on Wall Street. Guess I could stay here.
This gray cube can’t be so bad. Steady check. Oh look they gave me a company water bottle when I completed training. Must be for to keep my voice after all the calls. Keep me fresh. It holds a full 20 ounces. Equipped with bendable straw. Hooray! I can get all the H2O I desire.
Beep. Beep. “CA 1170……”
Company policy. Thou shall not miss more than three days. We don’t care if you’re sick or the weathers bad. Don’t show up and you will be terminated! Thou shall work over 50 hours a week.
No overtime. Breaks are under five minutes and handed out sparsely. Do not use our emergency exits. Walk all the way to the back. Strap in this filthy seat.
I can…
(Manager) Ahh heem! CA 1170, your schedule for Saturday and Sunday is 1p.m. – midnight.
(Manager) Think you could swing it?
(Me) “CA here, one moment Sir”
(Manager) Wait! Wait! Where are you going? Your shift is not over CA 1170! Clock out! See you Saturday!
(Me) No.
(Manager) Sunday!?
(me) No.
This is for all the people working menial, mindless jobs.
Stop. Pass the doubters, haters and potholes. Head one mile up, make the right at the fork and follow your dream.
5…0…2…6…7…5…9….”
I can say those scripted lines with my eyes closed gracefully like an Academy Award winning actress.
My practice. I invest time in “Flop Ears”, “Thomas the Engine”, and “Lemony Snicket” with a little boy.
I can construct the world’s best influential speech…And put it into Flavor Flav hands and make him sound great.
……needs strong people skills. Got It! Looking for energetic people. Got It!
Humm…. a rest… Beep. Beep. Ha!
“Relay Service, CA 1170……. “Yes Sir, I’ll have that number for you.”
I can type 76 words per minute/no errors. My sound byte is better.
Beep. Beep. Well, its paying bills.
I can tell you about every stock and bond available to you like a renowned broker on Wall Street. Guess I could stay here.
This gray cube can’t be so bad. Steady check. Oh look they gave me a company water bottle when I completed training. Must be for to keep my voice after all the calls. Keep me fresh. It holds a full 20 ounces. Equipped with bendable straw. Hooray! I can get all the H2O I desire.
Beep. Beep. “CA 1170……”
Company policy. Thou shall not miss more than three days. We don’t care if you’re sick or the weathers bad. Don’t show up and you will be terminated! Thou shall work over 50 hours a week.
No overtime. Breaks are under five minutes and handed out sparsely. Do not use our emergency exits. Walk all the way to the back. Strap in this filthy seat.
I can…
(Manager) Ahh heem! CA 1170, your schedule for Saturday and Sunday is 1p.m. – midnight.
(Manager) Think you could swing it?
(Me) “CA here, one moment Sir”
(Manager) Wait! Wait! Where are you going? Your shift is not over CA 1170! Clock out! See you Saturday!
(Me) No.
(Manager) Sunday!?
(me) No.
This is for all the people working menial, mindless jobs.
Stop. Pass the doubters, haters and potholes. Head one mile up, make the right at the fork and follow your dream.
Our Conversations
What’s up man! Hope you slept well. That’s not eye boogers; the Angels walked on your forehead and forgot to wash their feet.
Anyway Let’s play. Grip the ball. Get a great feel. Extend your arms. Go up strong. Follow through and snap your wrist. The shot should work every time. Look at Lebron. We just have to work on this jump shot. Your arms will catch up.
Say your prayers every morning and every night. Brush your teeth, when you get some. Make them both a routine.
Hold open doors. Keep smiling. Play games.
“Kind of Blue”, and “Ray”, are hands down some of the greatest music ever composed. And little man, we did not sleep in caves or beat each other over the head with clubs. If someone tells you that, they’re wrong…and Columbus was completely lost.
You are a king, said history.
What! Cool another smile. That’s on Channel 9. Yes, we do love the Yankees and Braves baseball.
The noon news you know its time for me to go to class.
Oh, and thank you so much for never complaining about our reading sessions. Thank for letting me read “Goodnight Moon” and I really enjoyed “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”, it reminded me of you.
Devin, need anything, you got my cell. Got a big day tomorrow, my little godson its one of my favorites “Cat In the Hat”. We’ve learned so much… Remember follow through. I better go to class. Work on that jump shot while I put you back in your crib.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Letter of a 6-year-old
Are you sleeping? I had 2 ask! The thing is, my tiny sister and me used to share a room and in the dark, breaking the stale silence she used to always ask me if I was sleeping.
First, I'd say yes, (I quickly lied, she knew), then she'd go into making a full-blown conversation, and I was forced to participate.
She's bossy like that, and poor ol' shy n quiet me had to be under her rule.
I'm glad I'm outta that situation! I took a lot of abuse from her, had to get in the bath water after her ‘cause, momma said she was smaller, (don't act like u ain't have to 'save' bathwater).
Seriously now, I think, LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!
I look at Susan now like, damn momma were we THAT poor where I couldn't get no fresh hot bath water. With Mr. Bubble! I wasn't stepping into nothing but shallow grim anyway! By her being smaller and closer to the ground, she’s more polluted. Did I really have to get HER hand-me-downs and my brothers, dammit.
And I want more than four cookies. I want the whole bag!
Can I get NEW shoes more than ONCE a year!
Also, just 'cause Ms. Bea said I gave the finger while riding the school bus and put me in the corner for two hours, on my fragile knees doesn't mean I'm a troubled child. I was waving goodbye to my friends and smiling, who does that? I can’t help that I was born with a slightly crooked little finger. Hell, when I think about it that ol lady saw me from her kitchen window I was at the swing, that's damn near 50 yards away, the bifocal wearing hen used to drink too, and your going to believe her over me. One day, I’ll win! ‘Till then, I’m not a troubled child!
First, I'd say yes, (I quickly lied, she knew), then she'd go into making a full-blown conversation, and I was forced to participate.
She's bossy like that, and poor ol' shy n quiet me had to be under her rule.
I'm glad I'm outta that situation! I took a lot of abuse from her, had to get in the bath water after her ‘cause, momma said she was smaller, (don't act like u ain't have to 'save' bathwater).
Seriously now, I think, LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!
I look at Susan now like, damn momma were we THAT poor where I couldn't get no fresh hot bath water. With Mr. Bubble! I wasn't stepping into nothing but shallow grim anyway! By her being smaller and closer to the ground, she’s more polluted. Did I really have to get HER hand-me-downs and my brothers, dammit.
And I want more than four cookies. I want the whole bag!
Can I get NEW shoes more than ONCE a year!
Also, just 'cause Ms. Bea said I gave the finger while riding the school bus and put me in the corner for two hours, on my fragile knees doesn't mean I'm a troubled child. I was waving goodbye to my friends and smiling, who does that? I can’t help that I was born with a slightly crooked little finger. Hell, when I think about it that ol lady saw me from her kitchen window I was at the swing, that's damn near 50 yards away, the bifocal wearing hen used to drink too, and your going to believe her over me. One day, I’ll win! ‘Till then, I’m not a troubled child!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Riding Around
Once again, I saw it. Classic picture.
I stopped at a red light next to a jalopy filled with kids in the backseat and at least three grown folks in the front. From looking outside of my tinted windows, everybody in the car looked agitated. I slowly sat back into my plush seats. The sight all too instantly brought me back to something.
I was back, sitting in that rear seat pilled up with my cousins. I was lanky, tall and a little older pre-teen so they always stuck me in the middle, on the hard hump.
If I were lucky I’d get the window seat and watch the scenery instead of the back of someone’s head.
Just my luck. Sigh. I’m wedged.
I wished I could have my own car and money. I would certainly get to the mall quicker and cooler. I wouldn’t be uncomfortable and get say on what’s on the radio.
Just something, because I grew tired of hearing they’re complaints and being picked on.
“It’s hot.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Sue, it’s too hot in here,” they’d repeat to my mom.
“When are you going to get the air-condition’ fixed?”
“Are we going to get something to eat?”
“Look at the dollar 2-piece special at Churches.”
“Awe man, there goes another red light, we’re going to be full of sweat”.
I threw my head back waiting on someone to save me, or at least finally come and tell me I’m adopted and I’ll be out of the situation!
“It’s just too hot up in here,” they echoed.
“Ohhhh, look at those people in that BMW, girl you know they riding clean. I bet they ain’t got no problems,” yelled, my older cousin with a drivers’ license.
“She prolly go home to the gated fence and tell the butler what she wants to eat,” she added.
“I wish I was in there,” my brother said.
“Ohh, that’s my car,” my little cousins calling shots on the cars.
It wasn’t nice sitting in the back of the old Buick on hot summer days just trying to make it to the mall to window shop. After days of sitting at home looking at each other, a trip outside, even if it meant to be canned like pickles it was worth it, sometimes.
On and on they would rag, as if we could do anything right then and there.
I didn’t complain because I already knew the situation I was going into. I felt like it would be a waste of my time and breath. I knew the Buick had no air. I knew it was going to be hot every day. I knew we would sweat and lose some of our fresh fully clean smell. I knew we were going to have to pile together to make the trip. I know I had only five dollars and a happy meal was $2.99. I knew we would look poor and meager to other people with nicer things. It’s not like we hadn’t made this trip before! I just wanted to get to the mall to see the fresh stuff coming out! We do this nearly every week. But, if I had to take another trip with them like this again, forget it, I’ll just stay at the house with the cat. Man! I surely wish for better days to come.
GREEN LIGHT! ALREADY!!!
I smiled compassionately. Who said it wasn’t cool to grow up? Time for me to go, I know what it’s like. I’m glad I envisioned something. Without any hesitation I zoomed off.
I stopped at a red light next to a jalopy filled with kids in the backseat and at least three grown folks in the front. From looking outside of my tinted windows, everybody in the car looked agitated. I slowly sat back into my plush seats. The sight all too instantly brought me back to something.
I was back, sitting in that rear seat pilled up with my cousins. I was lanky, tall and a little older pre-teen so they always stuck me in the middle, on the hard hump.
If I were lucky I’d get the window seat and watch the scenery instead of the back of someone’s head.
Just my luck. Sigh. I’m wedged.
I wished I could have my own car and money. I would certainly get to the mall quicker and cooler. I wouldn’t be uncomfortable and get say on what’s on the radio.
Just something, because I grew tired of hearing they’re complaints and being picked on.
“It’s hot.”
“I’m hungry.”
“Sue, it’s too hot in here,” they’d repeat to my mom.
“When are you going to get the air-condition’ fixed?”
“Are we going to get something to eat?”
“Look at the dollar 2-piece special at Churches.”
“Awe man, there goes another red light, we’re going to be full of sweat”.
I threw my head back waiting on someone to save me, or at least finally come and tell me I’m adopted and I’ll be out of the situation!
“It’s just too hot up in here,” they echoed.
“Ohhhh, look at those people in that BMW, girl you know they riding clean. I bet they ain’t got no problems,” yelled, my older cousin with a drivers’ license.
“She prolly go home to the gated fence and tell the butler what she wants to eat,” she added.
“I wish I was in there,” my brother said.
“Ohh, that’s my car,” my little cousins calling shots on the cars.
It wasn’t nice sitting in the back of the old Buick on hot summer days just trying to make it to the mall to window shop. After days of sitting at home looking at each other, a trip outside, even if it meant to be canned like pickles it was worth it, sometimes.
On and on they would rag, as if we could do anything right then and there.
I didn’t complain because I already knew the situation I was going into. I felt like it would be a waste of my time and breath. I knew the Buick had no air. I knew it was going to be hot every day. I knew we would sweat and lose some of our fresh fully clean smell. I knew we were going to have to pile together to make the trip. I know I had only five dollars and a happy meal was $2.99. I knew we would look poor and meager to other people with nicer things. It’s not like we hadn’t made this trip before! I just wanted to get to the mall to see the fresh stuff coming out! We do this nearly every week. But, if I had to take another trip with them like this again, forget it, I’ll just stay at the house with the cat. Man! I surely wish for better days to come.
GREEN LIGHT! ALREADY!!!
I smiled compassionately. Who said it wasn’t cool to grow up? Time for me to go, I know what it’s like. I’m glad I envisioned something. Without any hesitation I zoomed off.
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