No Hyphen

I was reading an e-mail from my cousin. It was about something funny. I can't remember because the thing that stood out to me was my cousin's name. She signed her name: Treva Mitchell.
And I just thought that was sooo AWESOME!
Plain and simple, this is a note for Black women.
I loved the way she wrote her name. Treva just got married a little over a year ago. I thought it was a great look the way she wrote her name. She did not write in her maiden name: Treva Green Mitchell or (the way I see a lot of Black women write) Treva Green-Mitchell.
Black women have this bad habit of using a hyphen in their new last name. That's not right, if you ask me. I told her Mitchell is a nice ring. I think Black women should drop their maiden name and acknowledge whoever they marry as the Head. We know Treva is independent. If we as Black women continue to do that we will continue to slow the progress of OUR Black males in this European society. Because little boys look at that and grow up thinking, well I will never get her to accept me for all that I am if she continues to bathe in this society's mentality of "Independence." But at the same time I understand that you gotta survive, and that's a way to do it. Its also wrong.
Now, while she was engaged she battled with the decision to use a hyphen or not. And she was also wise enough to know that she was going into a marriage to become ONE. If you are using the hyphen, you are probably planning on getting a divorce and not letting the marriage grow from the start, she said.
So, I asked.
"At your wedding, who gave you away," I said.
"My father," she responded.
OK!!! "Great your father gave you away, so it’s OK to drop the name because you are now apart of a new family."
Treva's family loves her. She will always be her mom and dad's child. At the same time, her father gave his blessings to start a new family.
At the end of the conversation we laughed a little just at the thought that great minds think a like.
Then she said, "If the guy was a ballplayer, who made millions of dollars Black women would be quick to drop their name and take his."

Probably.

just a thought,

~b.