Too Much Information

I just need to know why the clerk in Wal-Mart felt the need to tell me all of his business. Or anyone I don’t know for that matter. On a recent trip to the wholesaler, I picked up at least 15 items. Ok. I lied, it was more like 20, but I didn’t count the little bottles of cat food. The clerk, a guy about 40-50 years old talked to the customer in front of me about how his line is a 10 items or less. And that explained the short length of the checkout counter. I didn’t count this time. The lines in Wal-Mart are brutal on your feet and patience, on any given day they always snake around through the aisles leaving you standing and waiting. Anyway, I didn’t move I just knew I’d be his next audience and prepared myself accordingly. He started by reading the writing on my t-shirt.
“You think you know but you have no idea,” he read.
I smiled politely.
“Yeah, you know that’s funny because it explains a lot. People think they know you but they have no idea. Like people would talk about you but they don’t really know you.”
“Um, hummm,” I responded, with another smile, halfway this time.
Really, I thought ‘dude if you really knew me, you’d just check out my groceries and let me go.’
“Ohhh yogurt,” he grinned with delight as he scanned my Yoplait. “You know what? You should try Breyers. That’s some good yogurt and it’s helping me loose weight. Go get you some Breyers,” he said.
“I. Don’t. Like. Breyers.” I said as my patience wore thin, with him scanning and reading every item in my basket and making a conversation about it. I was glad my shopping list held Just grocery items.”
If I wanted Breyers, I would have picked it up. I bought what I liked.
“That’ll be 49.52, cash or credit?” he said.
Buzzz….buzz…my cell phone went off.
“Hello,” I answered. “Mother?” … “Ok. I’ll get it for you.”
“Excuse me, sir can I just run and get something for a second?”
“Sure,” he said.
I ran to the next aisle. He worked at the counter behind tobacco, so the pharmacy stood on the next aisle over.
In no time flat I picked up a bottle of Imodium AD and kept my word and ran back to the counter, as to not hold up the line.
The man took the bottle then scanned it. Instantly, I figured what he was going to say so he didn’t catch me off guard.
“Everybody’s sick,” he said.
“I guess so,” I replied.
That dorky attempt at a conversation didn’t get me; it was what he said next that got me.
“Oh yeah, I just had an upset stomach, and my cousin had it for six weeks. He was real sick. Girl, let me tell ya’” he went on.

….Too Much Information