Thursday, February 18, 2010

Easy Money...

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which in prosperous circumstances would have lain dormant. - Horace

An older lady walked up to me one day at Wal-Mart and told me to go back to school and be a writer.

That job’s not for you, she said. You’re talented, God gave you a gift.

I like my job. I’ll write. I replied in a nonchalant way.
I hadn’t picked up my ink pen since I graduated.

She lost all-of-her-mind. Period. Or that’s what I thought.
The people messed up and gave me a job where I made over 40k a year. Doing stuff that came easy to me. EASY. I’m 24, the world is finally in my hands.

No major bills. Completed school with a Master’s. No kids. No husband. Just me. And all my little heart desires. All I had to do was: wake up, arrive on time, and keep a low profile, do no hero work. Done.

An automatic check in the mail at the end of the month.
I can catch a flight to New York and pick up some shoes on the weekend and be back in time for work on Monday. Friends want to go out? The tab’s on me. Order whatever.

Someone has a birthday coming up? You can have whatever you like. The bill’s on me.
I feel like wearing new clothes. Something new every day this week. The cashiers at the mall know my first name.

Yup! This is the life. I’ll write when I get back from Disney World. I'll write when I come back from Vegas. I'll write when I come back from London. I'll write when I come back from Cabo.

Or that’s what I thought. After a few months I lost the job. Losing the job didn’t make me sad. Losing all the EASY money that came with it had me upset.

I had to keep moving. Can’t cry for long. OK! OK! I’ll write! I figured I’d finally start on my book. I needed to make money and no one else was hiring.

Long has the wishes from my mom gone up for me to be a writer.
I want you to be a writer, she requested.

Ma, I’ll write, I’d say. One day.

In undergrad, I said I would write a book.

Since I have no job, I might as well. I wrote my book and started off in a new path. Without the money and security. The benefits or guarantee of a meal every night.
Did I say, without security? Everything’s uncertain. The only thing I know, everyone says God gave me talent and I must use it. I was just going to use it later.

Everything I listed above was taken from me. The freedom to travel – my love. Shopping, dining; so much for a social life. Bye. Bye.
There have been times where I have gone weeks without a dime in my pocket.

Can't I get the easy money and write later?

Just with a bit of wonder, why did God take my job, my easy money from me…

My cousin had an answer for me.

God didn’t want you complacent baby, she said.

What do you mean, I asked.

If you still had that job, would you have created your book, she asked.

I pondered her question for a few seconds. With no real answer in my head to give her, I searched her eyes.

See, since you had no money, you had to figure out creative ways to make some, she said. God didn’t want you to be complacent he has something bigger for you to do.

It’s not like I was running from writing. OK, maybe I did. A little. Well, a lot. I just didn’t think it was me. Can I be an author? I didn’t even graduate at the top of my high school class. Most likely to be picked on, pass that award. Awkward. Really? Brandi, an author?
Stop. Kidding. Now.

There, I admit I ran away from writing.

I read. I read a lot. I can devour whole books in one night. I am a reader. I didn’t think it was special. I figured everyone else did the same thing too. I remember, when we were little my sister would read to us and while she was in the first paragraph, I completed the whole page.

You read too slow, Kell, I complained.

Well, OK, Brandi, tell me everything you just read, she’d say.

I’d spit it back out to her almost word for word.

Wow, you did read that, she’d say in amazement. I looked shocked because she’s the Brain. I’m just Pinky. She’s always been the Brain. Her and her report card full of A's.

I just never thought reading and writing dated each other.

My cousin hit me again. Yeah! When God gives you a gift he doesn’t want us to hide it. Sugar keep trusting God, she smiled.

He shook me up. I figured it out.

He put me on a new path. The path everybody’s been telling me to take from the start.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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